syrinx

my daily amidha buddha org thought for the day:

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha

and both psych central and science daily report on what researchers are calling "Hope" therapy that helps relieve depression for both folks with (illness related) depression and their caregivers:

Hope therapy seeks to build on strengths people have, or teach them how to develop those strengths. We focus not on what is wrong, but on ways to help people live up to their potential.In this study, about half the participants took part in eight, two-hour group sessions led by trained leaders. As part of these sessions, they were taught new hope-related skills, including identifying goals, ways to achieve them, and how to motivate themselves.

more after the read more link..Gosh, sounds to me like teaching people how to set simple learning goals and how to achieve them. One of these OSU pschologists should have walked over to the education college library and checked out one of Robert Mager's books from the 1960's. Of course, I was doing this intuitively in the 60's and 70s and 80s long before I read Mager. I loves the quadrille lined graph paper and drawing the little check boxes and setting my little goals and plans and checking off the steps. Or read Alan Lakein's book on time management. Or listen to Randy Pausch's (RIP) online video lecture on time management.
But isn't it appropriate to go through the steps of grief over the loss of sight due to macular degenerations? (From Wikipedida}:

1. Denial:* Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening."
2. Anger:* Example - "Why me? It's not fair!" "NO! NO! How can you accept this!"
3. 3. Bargaining:* Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."
4. Depression:* Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"
5. Acceptance:Example - "It's going to be OK."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

So we might as well figure that we're all going to die anyway and accept that we are going to go through the 5 stages of grief over and over many times throughout our lives as we lose our illusions and youth and innocence and ignorance and other things, even bad relationships and miserable situations (e.g., getting depressed after getting legally divorced, even though having been separated for a year or more and having developed another relationship, or leaving a bad job and going on to a better situation).
I even go through the 5 stages of grief when I can't find a book that I knew I had and now I don't know whether I loaned it or donated it or traded it to half price books or gave it to someone or just lost it somewhere in my mess.
So I have a goal and a checklist: Organize my bookshelves. And put a limit on how much time i will spend looking for missing stuff. and do the important stuff first. so prioritize my checklist.
which leads me back to the first sentence of this blog entry.After all, can't spend all my life going through the 5 stages of grief. And love is like manure or money. First you make sure you love yourself so you have enough to be nurtured and survive, then you spread it around.

tags: research psychology depression therapy hope grief stages