syrinx

This is about finding a doctor. As a migraineur, finding the right doctor is something you will spend more time doing than almost anything else. In fact the best situation is to find a team of support specialists who can get you on the right path. This team will probably use a combination of approaches that will require some work on your part as well as theirs. It really is a lot of work to find the right doctor. I have finally found mine. A wonderful warm and caring family doctor and a pain specialist make up my winning combo. But it needs to be understood that it took me close to 20 years to find, and then settle on them.

I shudder when I look back on those years that I spent hoping this would be the one. It sounds very much like I was looking for a life partner! But no, I was looking for medical help.

I could not accept the ones that had that look, the "Oh, she's just stressed" look, or the "She's just looking for attention" look. The '80s and '90s were not good years for migraineurs. And the '70s were the worst of all. Unless, of course, you were the one writing a paper on how migraines were caused by an overpowering mother and a weak father. (Where have we heard that before?) If you were the author of one of those papers, then the '70s were a wonderful time! You were asked to cocktail parties and met famous people. Of course you were wrong, and your theory was made up and had no basis in reality, but just the same you were better off than the people who had the condition.

Things are very, very -- let me repeat: v-e-r-y -- different now. We have medications. We have support newsgroups and forums. We have so much more than we ever imagined we would. I do still run into those rare doctors that haven't read the latest journals, and I am bolder and less of a "good girl" about their attitude than I used to be. In fact, I shocked myself a few months ago when I told a doctor to get out of the dark ages. I used to be so afraid to say anything because it meant the difference between being treated or not. But now that they know how strong the link is between migraine and stroke, it is simply not worth the risk to make the patient wait.

Your strength will wax and wane while seeking the right doctor. But it is the only avenue you have, so you have to believe you will find one that is right for you. Word of mouth is good: ask people you know and trust who they go to. That's how I found my doctor. And if they're good, then you have to be a good patient. You can't be difficult. It's not something I've seen with "my kind" very often, but I did see it once. It embarrassed me; we shouldn't give in to bad behaviour. The past was bad for us, but things are really starting to look much better.

The past was a bad time for all illness, in fact. People were declared possessed and demonized for things that we now know have a medical basis. And it's worrisome to wonder which illnesses are falling into those categories even now. What are we still ignorant about that will shame us in 20 years? Perhaps we should drop in on those cocktail parties and see who is being invited - read those papers - they might give us a clue.